This past weekend, in what is either an adult milestone, a misguided abandonment of your youth, or both, your childhood method of escaping from relentless harassment at the hands of the other kids at school into a world where you were the hero was traded for an eighth. This sacrifice was made in preparation for an upcoming camping trip with Dylan and Taylor, because Sabrina is going to be there, and you need to make a good impression because summer ends in a few weeks and this is your last chance.
With the necessity to purchase marijuana and the possibility of possessing any sort of currency completely off the table, a trade offer had been made with Jared’s older brother Pete (brokered through Jared’s sister, Sarah, because Jared couldn’t know about the camping trip because no one wants him to come) to trade a purple Gamecube with a green Oakley sticker on the side for an eighth of an ounce of dry mid-grade marijuana. During negotiations, Super Mario Sunshine and Pokemon Colosseum were traded for a one-hitter, while Pikmin and Super Smash Bros. Melee were kept as collateral for a small bubbler pipe that was rented over the weekend for the price of a controller with a Rumble Pak.
After a deal had been struck, Taylor’s parents’ Ford Taurus was borrowed to travel four miles to Jared’s house (cleverly at a time when Dylan had taken one for the team and invited him over) to meet Pete in the detached garage where their dad kept a broken-down Ford Thunderbird under a tarp to make the exchange. The deal went as planned, and an offer from Pete to explain how the bubbler works was declined as Taylor said he knew how to use it, which was later revealed to be a lie.
With half a handful of small nuggets of marijuana wrapped in a saran wrap sack acquired, a small walk through the woods in the rain to “test the stuff” was called for in which Dylan forgot the one-hitter somewhere.
At press time, word had arrived from Twin Lakes Campground that Sabrina wasn’t into weed and didn’t like the smell.