Korea Bound: Our Visit To The Esports Capital Of The World, Day 1
At Nerfwire, we seek to keep our thumb pressed firmly to the pulse of global politics, hard enough for it to restrict circulation. As such, we’ve sent one of our …
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Cocaine Addict Has To Admit, APM Has Never Been Higher
My name is David, and I’ve been addicted to cocaine for about two months. It’s destroyed my personal relationships, driven a wedge between myself and my family, and emptied out …
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Irredeemable Scumbag Fuckface Loser Says ‘What A Save!’ In Rocket League Chat
Witnesses reported Tuesday that irredeemable scumbag fuckface loser Anoosy6 emoted with the “What a save!” emote after his teammate, hard-working patriot and defender of the innocent and the orange team’s …
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Fantasy Racism Getting Pretty Close To Home
“When did we stop talking about these death knights, anyway?” A booming voice erupts from the other side of the bar as we interview proud blood death knight, Pacifix. “You’re …
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WoW Player Currently Aboard Golden Alien Spaceship Excited To Ride Boat Next Expansion
“Finally, a seafaring expansion!” exclaims longtime World of Warcraft player Teqheala, a draenei shaman, as she uses a teleportation beacon to warp aboard the Vindicaar, a golden glowing alien vessel …
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Pope Plays Doom; Declares It ‘Bitchin”
The Pope emerged from the Vatican today after many days of prayer, reflection, and high-octane demon ass-kicking to declare that the Catholic Church officially recognizes Doom (2016) as “bitchin’”. Directly …
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John Wick Sure Appreciates You Looting All This Stuff
Hey, man—thanks. I’ve got to say, I’m pleasantly surprised by the variety of colors tumbling out of your corpse. I mean, I really appreciate you going through all the trouble …
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A 12 Year Old In CoD Told Me He Fucked My Mom, So Now She’s A Registered Sex Offender
It’s not the kind of thing you ever want to hear, but it’s the kind of thing you need to take seriously. I know that for sure. This is the …
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Confused Bitcoin Miner Hits GPU With Pickaxe
“Get out of there, you bastards!” grunts local Bitcoin miner, Alexei Sokolov, repeatedly swinging a pickaxe into a freshly unwrapped Nvidia Titan V—his third one since our arrival. Sokolov is …
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PlayerUnknown Really Blowing Secret Identity
You may know him as the masked marauder that brought you the battle royal phenomenon PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds: but could anyone crack the man behind the mask? That’s what what some …
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