Amplifying The Voices That Matter: Blizzard Just Hired A Woman-Owned Union-Busting Firm

The backlash against Blizzard has only been growing in the week since the California government filed a formal lawsuit against the company. The final result of a two-year investigation presents damning evidence of pervasive discrimination and sexual harassment all across Activision Blizzard. The company’s initial statements have only served to stoke the fires of the outraged player base, but now it looks like the company is finally taking steps in the right direction: they’ve hired a woman-owned law firm to help prevent their employees from unionizing.

“Our initial responses… were, quite frankly, tone deaf,” writes Activision Blizzard CEO and man whose name appears in Jeffrey Epstein’s infamous black book Bobby Kotick in an open letter to all employees. “We want to live up to the creed that every voice matters. That’s why we’ve hired WilburYale to help prevent you from collectivizing your power as the people who do the actual work that keeps this company afloat. This woman-owned law firm has appointed one of its best agents, Samantha Devakian, to lead the team that will ensure you don’t get any fancy ideas in the wake of this lawsuit. You have my unwavering commitment that we will improve our company together.”

WilburYale’s promotional material advertises a variety of services designed to make the worker feel small. “We provide legal insight into the most complex and highly-regulated areas of business,” their website reads, “ensuring that your workforce remains a fragmented series of helpless individuals rather than an organized body capable of negotiating for its own interests.” The law firm also provides its own diversity training programs.

Reportedly, Devakian has already begun producing Blizzard-themed anti-union pamphlets featuring slogans such as:

  • Zerg rush to vote no!”
  • Cheers love! HR is already here!”
  • You are not prepared to pay union dues in your current financial situation! Don’t think about why!”
  • Frostmourne hungers for things to stay the same!”

Experts estimate that the sudden expenses of hiring WilburYale will force executive officials such as Kotick to incur a one percent salary loss, as opposed to treating their employees fairly, which would’ve incurred two and a half percent.