Amazing: Blizzard Headquarters Not That Cold

In what has to be Nerfwire’s most daring and shocking exposé to date, we spoke with an anonymous leaker at Blizzard Entertainment, Aaron Fingal, who told us that so-called “Blizzard’s” offices aren’t even that cold—in fact, they’re often kept at a balmy 68 degrees. According to Fingal, “We’re based in California, so if anything they’re fighting the heat. That’s really your follow up question? You heard me just say that World of Warcraft 2 is releasing in August and Battle For Azeroth has just been a front for the whole thing, right?”

Aaron Fingal, our anonymous leaker whose employee ID code is AF0477836, wasn’t forthcoming with this damning information, choosing to shroud it in leaked information about the developer’s massive MMORPG, World of Warcraft. When asked what temperature he would generally consider a “Blizzard,” Fingal claimed, “Are you speaking in some kind of code or something? I don’t have a lot of time here. They’re building the entire engine from the ground up, it’s going to be incredible. No one knows what they’re in for. WoW Classic is just going to be the game we’re all currently playing. You can ask me literally anything about it. Are you even writing this down?”

The parking garage where we met Fingal lacked both the blanketing snow and deafening winds of a major snowstorm, as well as the characteristic low temperature one would expect. “There’s new snow particle effects in World of Warcraft 2, I guess,” Fingal claimed, finally getting to the point. “Is that really a big deal to people? I mean, you’re the journalists. Yes, lots of really great snow in World of Warcraft 2. Yeah, it says it’s 84 degrees on my phone, why?”

While Fingal’s claims of high temperatures seem unfounded, a report that we were able to uncover from another source, The Weather Channel, shows that Fingal’s estimation of the temperature was not only accurate, but had also been the case for the past several weeks, give or take a few degrees. When asked if he had any last secrets to tell after our short, eye-opening interview, Fingal responded, “Yeah, they keep Tracer’s frozen head in a bunker downstairs. She’s real, you know.”