Today, the stereotype of the kind, amicable support has been challenged as a Platinum IV, 0 LP Janna main with 4,129 games and a 49% win rate has been continuously flaming his team for not being good enough at League of Legends.
“LMAO stay hardstuck shitter,” proclaims Janna main Wyatt “JannaJameson” Carter to his ADC teammate. “Maybe when you climb out of Gold like me [after several thousand games and a fortunate ten-game win streak], you’ll be able to play like a big boy, but for now, stay hardstuck lmao. Braindead jungler needs to gank, fucking hardstuck dipshit.”
JannaJameson details his daily routine to us, another tirade that included the word “hardstuck” frequently. He begins the day by sitting in bed for several hours browsing his phone and reading rejection letters from potential employers. Following this, he has a breakfast of Captain Crunch, no milk, and then plays seventeen games of League of Legends, winning eight of them. He’s pretty sure he can still go pro if he practices enough, and occasionally links his Twitch channel that heavily features sexually explicit pictures of Janna as a backdrop. This would generally result in a ban from Twitch, save for the fact that no one has ever seen it.
“This Janna is kind of a dick,” says top laner Ali “ViegoMortensen” Maposa. “She spent the entire game just shielding her ADC and then going back to flaming the jungler for not ganking their lane. It’s pretty tough to gank a Janna lane, and I personally wouldn’t want to gank for someone that abusive. She clearly spends a lot of time in-game on OP.gg, because she was criticizing him for some pretty specific stuff he did a few games prior. That’s some deep dive shit. At the end of the game, she took sole credit for winning and then told the other team to neck themselves. Then she friended me and asked if I wanted to duo.”
At press time, JannaJameson was celebrating his birthday with fourteen hours of League of Legends.